Holiday's

This is, unfortunately, the time of the year that I dislike the most. I am so stressed with work-the pressures of a new change, the pressure of wanting to adopt again but having Bruce not. I wish I could get over these feelings, but am unable to. I have a hard time now with Chrislande and her constant activity, don't know how I would handle having bringing a child how with a disability while working the schedule that I do. I have started to look at the posibility of doing marketing retail work. I have been talking with a rep that comes to service my store weekly. I have been doing research thru the internet and have listed with an online sight. We will see. I still want to find a way to bring Joshua home. I will find a way, I am determined on this matter. It is just the finacial aspect that is still causing issues. Joshua has a significant grant, we could apply for another grant, but would still have to come up with the initial $$ so that we could start the process. Why am I so afraid of taking that step? We are starting to get ready here at the house for the holidays. Kaylee has her holiday concert this week. My parents are coming over for it on Thursday. Next week, Chrislande goes to have her eye's tested again. At school they did an initial test and determined that she is seeing 20-50. This might explain why she sits close to the tv at night, why she has sloppy handwritting, and why she needs the books close to her face. Or then again, maybe not. Finding that I am having a harder time of dealing with her when she isn't medicated. This past weekend was very rough. Although Bruce stated that they had a good day on Monday when they were home together as she didn't have school and Bruce took a vacation day. Kaylee goes to have molds made of her mouth for braces in 2 weeks. Talking with Bruce, we are feeling her out to see about what she thinks about Santa. Going to a Catholic school, they seem to hold onto the belief longer. Just like Tyler, she will be told if you don't believe, you don't receive. And don't spoil it for your little sister. Speaking of Tyler, he seems to be doing great at school. We don't hear much from him, as he has always kept to himself. He tells us that he is getting good grades in all his classes. When he was home for Thanksgiving, I noticed that his school email account was requesting a password change, so I lost my ability to keep tabs. Trying to find the time to do shopping, find what I want to get everyone. and stay sane this season. Bought new computers the HP thru employee discounts and received 2 Nook Simple Touches free. Was planning to give one to Bruce, but he went and bought an I-Pad Mini. Now what to do with them as they are not returnable. The desktop computer came today, just waiting on the laptop now. Bruce is being Santa twice this coming weekend--at my store and at the neighborhood event. Just have to figure out how to keep the girls occupied as none of the kids don't know that Bruce does this. He has been doing this for over 20 years. As the years have turned, the need for him to use pillows for the mid section have reduced as the natural padding has taken over. Hope everyone enjoys their days. Remember the reason for the season. Lori